Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Word To Your Mother!

Hello lovelies. I'm hope you're all having a fantastically titillating and delicious day. My day was fabulous, with one slight hick-up. The title of today's post is a subtle hint. I'm not going to tell you about it just yet though. I'm going to drag it out and lure you along with promises of humor, shock, reflection, denial, anger and laughter.

Our story begins with a delicious bowl of grandma approved, oat infused goodness.

BREAKFAST (meal #1) at 9:00am.
  • 1/2 cup old fashioned oats
  • 1/4 cup wheat bran
  • 1 1/2 cups water
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 tbs unsweetened dark cocoa
  • Splenda
  • (Microwaved and topped with 1 tbs Better N' Peanut Butter and a mix of golden and regular raisins.)

I was feeling the work flow today. My nearing deadline of "get crap done before you leave for vacation" has me in super-maximum-mega-warp-speed-overdrive. Ahhh the subtle scent of burnt flesh. Caused by my speed typing which produced sparks and smoke from my fingertips. It's essence was oozing from my office all day today. A rich bodied aroma with hints of Hungarian paprika. Very odd. HAHAHA!

Lunchtime rolled around in what seemed like minutes today. I couldn't wait to dive into my magical polka dot lunch bag. Packed full of nutritious, delicious, scrumptiolicious (yes I just made that word up) goodies.

LUNCH (meal #2) at 12:30pm.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Miss. Awesomely Amazing Salad. Please give her a warm round of applause. She was loved while she lasted. Though her time in this bowl was limited, she will never be forgotten. Oh Miss. Salad, you had me at first bite.
  • Spinach
  • Cherry tomatoes
  • Sugar Snap Peas
  • Leftover Roasted Brussel Sprouts
  • Black Bean Burger
  • Corn
  • Alfalfa Sprouts
  • Spray Butter

I don't know what it was about this combo but I was all sorts of OVER IT. I ate every single last little morsel. No bite gets left behind!!!!

Ann and I went to the grocery store on our break today. It's like my second home. SCARY how much time I spend gazing at fresh produce and perfectly organized isles of packaged goodies. LOVE IT! Sometimes I envision myself dancing, singing and twirling with a basket full of apples in slow motion while hugging boxed cereal. Envision The Sound Of Music if you will. Brilliant right?

It was during our shopping adventure that my one hick-up of the day occurred. We were getting in line to check out when the CLEARLY wise and CLEARLY brilliant (IDIOT) cashier asked us if we were mother and daughter. You know, because we look a like? MY JAW HIT THE FLOOR! You son of a _____! Really???? Sisters doesn't come to mind first? Fifteen months separate Ann and I. IS HE KIDDING? OMG! I'm not sure if you can kill with a look but mine was definitely throwing a full set of rusty knives at this man jugular. Ann kept silent. I think she was fearful of her life and made NO eye contact with me what so ever.

We checked out and got out of there as quickly as humanly possible. You know, before things got ugly and I ended up on Americas Most Wanted for violently attacking and ripping apart a complete stranger. Ann attempted to console me by saying that maybe he thought she was the mom. Then I reminded her that Mr. Charming carded her for her bottle of wine and did NOT card me for mine. HA! I'm pretty sure this points the Mama fingers in my apparently aged direction.

After a while we were laughing at it. Hard. However, I just have to say, HOW RUDE! Ann and I are both in our early 30's. If he saying I look 50? HAHA. I mean seriously. I immediately blamed my new orange glasses. I HAD TO BLAME SOMETHING! :)

SNACK (meal #3) at 4:15pm.

I had a plain 0% Fage with a very ripe pair, Udi's cranberry granola and cinnamon. A tasty, healthy good for you treat that even a MOTHER can appreciate. :-O

After work it was off to the gym.


5 minute warmup at 3.4 speed
Seated Leg Curl (cable)
100lb x 15
90lb x 15
80lb x 15
Leg Extensions (cable)
100lb x 15
100lb x 15
90lb x 15
Inner Thigh Machine (cable)
75lb x 20
75lb x 20
75lb x 20
Outer Thigh Machine (cable)
85lb x 20
85lb x 20
85lb x 20
Free Weight Squats (straight bar)
45lb x 15
55lb x 15
55lb x 15
Side Leg Raises
BW x 15
BW x 15
BW x 15
1 mile in 12:17 minutes, Speeds 3.4-6.5, (shaved another 24 seconds off.)
.5 miles, 10 minutes, 10 incline, 3.2 speed (there's gold at the top o' that thur hill.)
Elliptical Cross Trainer
.85 miles, 10 minutes, Level 6

Total Time At Gym = 1:16
Max HR = 180
Average HR = 141
Total Calories Burned = 631

Not bad for a 50 year old if I do say so myself. ;)

SNACK (meal #4) at 7:15pm.

I made a quick shake the second I got home. I just stirred a scoop of chocolate peanut butter whey protein into a glass of 1/2 vanilla Almond breeze and 1/2 water. I added some ice and cinnamon to make it perfect. Tasty tasty... I'm pretty sure that cinnamon is my favorite spice of all time!! Cayenne being the close second!

After cleaning my sweaty self up, I started prepping dinner. All I wanted for dinner was soup and salad. A thunderstorm hit shortly after I got home and soup just sounded SO good.

DINNER (meal #5) at 9:30pm.

For the sandwich I pan seared some peppered turkey and smoked ham in a pan with a bit of spray butter for just a few seconds. I added them to two slices of wheat bread with a slice of Munster cheese. I had already sprayed the outside of each slice with a bit more spray butter. I tossed the sandwich into the same pan and toasted the outsides until they were nice and golden. When it was done, I peeled it apart and added some crisp, cool lettuce for a bit of a crunch. This was delicious!

For the soup, I made one of my favorite little packets. Thai Kitchen, Bangkok Curry. Not the GREATEST ingredients, I know, but it's freakin delicious. Calorie wise it's only 170 so not TOO bad. I followed the microwave directions and added some red pepper flakes and fresh green onions on top. LOVED IT!

Yeah, it was sort of a lazy attempt at dinner but it was super tasty. I used to make sandwiches like this all the time. MAKE ONE, they are tasty! Trust me, this "Mom" knows what she is talking about, for I am wise. As wise as a 50 year old apparently. HAHAHAHA!

Okay, ENOUGH already. I must get over it and MOVE on.

Before I forget, I have not FORGOTTEN about you. If I haven't commented it's because I'm STILL behind on reading blogs. FORGIVE ME! My days have just been so busy! Like right now, it's past midnight and I'm just now about to hit publish. I'm also about to pass out so I need to take my sassy butt to bed. OH, I better remember to take my dentures out first so I don't choke on them while I sleep.

I had to sneak another OLD mama joke in there. Sorry! HAHAHA! I'm done now... I promise...


Ildie (aka,Mad Mama.) :-O


Sonia said...

GAH! I hate it when situations like that happen. Once I was at an Asian foods store with my boyfriend. We are both the same age- he's like, 3 months older. Well, the woman at the register asked if he was MY SON. SERIOUSLY!?
I never went back there again.

I haven't been commenting on blogs either lately! Finals are tomorrow...but I HAD to comment on this.

PS; you don't look over mid-twenties.

Karin said...

Oh what an idiot! I can't believe that he assumed that you were your sister's mother! How crazy! My mum is often asked if she is my sister (and clearly she's flattered, hehe) but I've never experienced it the other way around.
But seriously, that guy must have been blind... you two look like sisters. Period.


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