Oh to be me.

Let me backtrack just a few days so that I can vent to you a bit about my week. Because It's been one of "those" weeks so far . I mean it had some good points for sure, such as our Anniversary which was lovely. But then of course, there is the below. Also known as the typical.

Friday - I got the mail as soon as I got home. This was after a horribly crappy and long week at work. The first envelope I open is from my best pal John A. Donofrio. OH GOD I thought to myself as I gently peeked inside my envelope of doom. AGHHH, It was the bill for the second half of my property taxes. This will be the first time I pay it myself since my Escrow Co. closed doors due to the economy. This of course means that the Chicago trip we had been talking about for a few months is not going to happen. We were supposed to visit for a long weekend roughly two weeks from now. PISSED. My angry ass then began to make dinner . I was baking some fish in the oven. While clearly comatosed and not paying attention, I attempted to remove the freaking cookie sheet from the oven with my right hand. Then with my left hand, I began to close to oven door. As if by some sheer force of magic, while I was doing this my right hand (with cookie sheet in hand) began to creep towards my left arm. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! Shit stung for hours afterwards. I was already hot because the temperature in my house was a balmy 75 or so. I swear the burn made me sweat even more. I kept touching it by accident making it worse. I think this one may be a permanent scar. YAY.


Saturday - I went down into the basement to do laundry in the morning and noticed a small river flowing across the floor. Uhm, it hadn't rained in days at that point so all signs were pointing to oh-shit-ville. I quickly discovered that the leak was coming from the furnace vent. Which of course made no damn sense. I woke Nick up and half asleep we both investigated this amazing phenomenon. We quickly discovered that the fridge had a hose coming off of it for the water dispenser and the ice machine which came into the basement right above the furnace. MYSTERY SOLVED. We ran to Home Depot, got the parts we needed for a few bucks. We cut off the bad part of the hose and changed out the fittings. Voila, problem solved. Of course because this is me we are talking about, this was NOT the end of our adventure. When we pushed the fridge back into place, we pushed the damn thing right over the hose we had just fixed and tore a nice, new and refreshing hole in it. Soooooo, we made trip #2 to the hardware store, purchased more parts, fixed the damn line again and GENTLY pushed the fridge back into position. The kitchen stank like wet mold. Hopefully it will dry up in a few days. ...sigh...

Also, Nick accidentally grabbed the burn on my arm later that night and ripped the protective layer of skin off of part of it. Ohhhh yeah, it felt so good. Bleeding is fun.


Sunday - I woke up and walked into the bathroom. I couldn't put my finger on it but something was awry. Something didn't "fit". Yeah, uhm, I'm pretty sure that it was the CAT VOMIT chilling in my jaccuzi tub. My cat has this disgusting habit of climbing into the bathtub and licking the jets. I have no explanation for this insanity. Oliver (my cat) is a special breed of crazy, mean, moody, hissing, scared all the time ball of stupid. Also, he likes licking elbows and stealing my hair ties. Yeah, I don't get it. When we fixed the fridge yesterday I found at least 15 stolen hair ties under there. All wet and nasty from the leak. DISGUSTING! After cleaning up the mess I walked downstairs only to discover MORE VOMIT in the dining room. Did I mention that I have white carpet!!!!!!!!!


Also, the burn on my arm looks funny. And it's still tender. BAH!


Monday - I wore this stupid new silk shirt to work. Bad idea. Every time I sat down in my office my boobs looked like they wanted to crawl out of my shirt to come out and play. YAY FOR PROFESSIONALISM! I kept my door shut as much as possible. Which in turn caused my office to become extremely hot! Sweating and work stress = crazy lady. I got home from work about 2 minutes before Nick and by the time he walked in I was already wearing my pajama top! HA! I took a bath later that night (I should mention that the tub has been properly cleaned since the vomit incident) and when I was done I realized that the freaking skin on my never ending burn of doom was loose again. Probably from all the hot water and steam. So once again my flesh is exposed. I smothered it with triple antibiotic ointment and put a band aid on it this time. What the hot hell is going on this week already?

The above are just a few examples of what I lovingly refer to as "the curse". It has made crazy, you see.... (Yeah, that IS me below.)